Josh's Foolproof Guide to Picking Up Chicks

Want to learn how to pick up? Sick and tired of failing at a task that seems so easy to some people? Well, here’s one weird tip, nay, one weird whole bleeding foolproof guide that will make you an instant chick pick-up master!

Step 1: First, obtain permission to lift the box of baby chickens from the farmer.

Obtaining permission

Step 2: Bend at the knees. Do not bend at the back. Bending at the back increases the risk of a back or spine injury.

Bend at the back? No.

Step 3: Firmly grasp the box on both sides, or the handles if the box has handles. Ensure you have a good grip before lifting. Chicks are living creatures, and dropping a box of them will land you in hot water with the RSPCA and your mother.

Grasp both sides firmly

Step 4: Calmly lift! Ensure that the weight is being lifted by your leg muscles. If your back muscles are taking the strain, you’re doing it wrong.

Lift!

With this technique you can pick up several hundred chicks per hour, much greater than any famous “Pick-Up Artist” can currently claim!

For even greater efficiency at hauling chicks, consider installing a chick elevator.